Tridents and Nets
by Balleka
Summary: My husband is dead. I have nothing left. That was until a miracle happened... Mockingjay with a few key twists. This is my first story so nice R&Rs please xx
1. Lost

*Annie's POV*

Ch.1: Lost

I sit in my room, thinking about the silliest of things. How Finnick's face looks after a swim in the ocean, how the smallest of fish make him so happy. How I really hope our child gets the same shine in their eyes that Finnick has. Soon enough I start to doze off. Hours later I am jolted awake by the speaker in my room as it starts droning out announcements. Ugh, the one thing I hate about District 13 is their invasion of your privacy. Oh well, Finnick will be back soon and he will take me back to District 4 and we will live happily ever after… Wait, the last announcement is saying I need to report to Plutarch immediately. I sigh, lifting myself stiffly out the chair I was sat on and begin to trudge aimlessly to Plutarch's office. As I walk down the hallways I notice people giving me sympathetic looks. I find it kinda disturbing since I didn't know why I was receiving them.

Anyway I ignore it but I can't ignore the growing suspicion that something is wrong, out of place. I rub my tiny baby bump for comfort. I hadn't told Finnick about our little miracle yet, I only found out after he left. I can barely wait to tell him, I can imagine the scene perfectly: Finnick arrives back from the Capitol, he runs over and swoops me into his arms and then kisses me. The only reason I stop kissing him is to tell him the news. I imagine me doing so, his face lighting up at the thought of little feet tip-tapping through our house-

"Annie?" I am broken from my thoughts by Plutarch. In my daze I hadn't even registered me walking into his office and taking a seat in front of his desk. " Im afraid we've got some bad news…about your Finnick"

Finnick, bad news about Finnick…

Then I piece it all together.

The sympathetic looks, the call to go to Plutarch's office imminently, District 13 never asks you to go anywhere immediately unless… No, I will not believe it! It is not true! Before he left he told me he would always be there! The next three words that leave Plutarch's mouth make my worst fears become a reality:

"He's gone Annie"


	2. WTF? IM ALIVE!

A.N. SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED IN A WHILE BUT I JUST CAME BACK TO SCHOOL AND GOT A TIN OF HOMEWORK SO HAVENT REALLY HAD TIME TO POST THIS. ALREADY STARTED CH.3 SO IT SHOULD BE UP SOON! ENJOY XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

*Finnick's POV* (You all thought he was dead HA! I would never kill my own husband)

I wake up to find darkness, complete darkness. What happened to me? I try to stand up but I am just greeted by a spasm of pain in my left arm. I suspect it's severely damaged, if not broken. I try to look around, but all I see is darkness. I pull myself up off the disgusting floor and, after a few wobbles, manage to start walking. I have no idea where I am nor where I am heading. All I know is I have to get back, for her.

My one true love, my all, my Annie. If I didn't have her then I would probably just give up, lay back down, and wait to die.

But I will return to her.

I told her I would always be there.

I promised.

A.N I KNOW IT ISNT LONG AND I APOLOGISE BUT I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO WRITE. THE CHAPTERS WILL GET LONGER AND BECAUSE THIS CHAPTER IS SO SMALL, I WILL FINISH CH.3 TOMMOROW JUST FOR YOU GUYS AND IT WILL BE UP AT TUES. AT THE LATEST. LOVE YA LOVELIES XOXOXOXO


	3. Just as it falls apart, it builds itself

A.N HEY GUYS HERE IS CHAPTER 3 AS PROMISED! ANY SPELLING MISTAKES PLEASE EXUSE.

*Annie's POV*

"We are working on retrieving his body by the end of the week" Plutarch rambled on quickly but I wasn't listening. All I was thinking is _he's gone. My beautiful Finnick is gone. _I start sobbing uncontrollably and eventually a guard was called to deliver me to my room. Before I even have time to sit on the bed, Johanna rushes in, takes one look at me and just walks over and hugs me. _Wow, _I think to myself, _I must look pretty bad if JOHANNA MASON is hugging me. _I lay all my sorrow on her as she mutters things like 'its ok Annie' or 'I will look after you, you will be fine'.

"But it's not Johanna" I say eventually, getting her attention.

"Not what Annie?" Johanna answers

"Okay. It's not okay. Finnick's gone and I'm all alone" My voice cracks on the word alone and Johanna sighs sympathetically. Then she comes over, hugs me once more, and then begins:

"It will be okay. You might not have Finn but you have me" Johanna's voice goes higher at the end of the sentence, the sort of thing you'd do if you thought there was hope. But there really isn't anymore. I just blurt out the most random, and for a second appealing, idea I could think of.

"I feel like killing myself Johanna"

"You WHAT?" Johanna freezes at my words, and I know I've gone too far.

"It seems better than living at the moment Johanna. I need Finn, and that seems like the only option to get him." I answer truthfully, because Johanna hates it when people lie to her.

"No Annie. You don't get it. That boy lived-"Johanna swallowed hard "-and died for you. He wanted you to live a happy life, free of the awful Hunger Games. He died for that wish, now live for him."

We sit there in silence until Johanna breaks it by saying "Come on, baby gotta eat" She moves her line of vision to my stomach _Oh, almost forgot about you! _

"Now Annie I know for sure Finnick would've loved to meet his lovely family but, just cause he isn't here, doesn't mean you can forget about his baby." _Johanna's right, if I could do anything else for Finnick, I can raise his family. _I take Johanna's outstretched hand and we walk to the dining room. People start to stare again, but stop when they meet Johanna's glare.

A few weeks later, as I sit down, a random woman sits beside us. I look at Johanna for help but she looks just as confused.

"Hello Mrs Odair, Miss Mason" The woman addresses us. "I am terribly sorry about the loss of Mr Odair. I am General Dren, I am in charge of recovering your husband's body." _Oh, right._

"I am sorry but we don't want to talk about this right now" Johanna butts in, then gives me a sympathetic look.

"Im sorry" General Dren answers. "I was just given orders from President Coin to inform you that we will be searching for him as soon as President Snow is executed. We've caught him you know" _No, I didn't. I have been too wrapped up in my husband's death thank you very much._

"When will that be? When will you start searching?" I wonder aloud, startling Johanna and Dren from they're private conversation.

"We don't know for definite Annie. All we know is that the execution is next Tuesday." _Ok, I can revel in watching the man guilty for ruining my life being murdered._ "Don't miss it" She adds just before she walks away.

"Next Tuesday, how long have we got until then?" I ask Johanna.

"Five days" She replies, then adds "I haven't got anything to do until then, what do you want to do?"

"I really don't know"

We do nothing. Just wander the halls aimlessly. Half the days, I am too sick to even get out of bed. But Johanna is there. Before the Quarter Quell, I hadn't really talked to Johanna. I'd talked to her once or twice, since her and Finnick are good friends, but nothing more than that. Now we are inseparable. I cannot live without her.

My baby bump is more prominent now, and it comforts me in ways Johanna never can. Even though I refuse to go to the District 13 hospital, I have had many phone calls from my doctor to see how I am. I am about 3 months along now and am really starting to get bad morning sickness. But I don't mind. I'd do anything to have a little bit of Finnick, and all I have is a little sickness. I guess I am lucky like that.

Next Tuesday finally comes around, and I find myself sitting in the main control room next to Johanna as the clock reads 5 to 12. Snow will be executed at 12pm, but that doesn't bring all the people he killed back to life. As the clock tolls 12, I see Katniss walk onto the stage on the TV screen. Snow is tied to a pole at the other end of the stage, a smug look plastered on his face. _I wonder why? _It doesn't matter now.

Katniss raises her bow.

Pulls the string.

And shoots.

But she didn't shoot at Snow, she shot at Coin. The camera zooms in on Coin, who falls off the balcony, dead.

There are many gasps from around the room, including mine and Johanna's. I look over at her and she's curled into a ball, bracing herself. _She's bracing herself for the violent reaction District 13 is surely going to have. Katniss just killed their President! Panem's President! _I copy Johanna, curling into a ball, protecting myself and mini- Finn. I wait anxiously for the violence to start. It never does.

I look up timidly to see everyone just acting…normally.

"Don't worry we are not angry" I hear General Dren laugh when she sees mine and Johanna's positions. "We are actually happy she's dead. She was unjust and she would've just brought more violence to Panem"

"What about Katniss?" I hear Johanna ask. "Won't she get charged with murder?"

"We will make sure she isn't" Dren replies, smiling. And for the first time since my wedding, I smiled too. Johanna notices my smile and starts laughing in joy.

Finnick's not here.

But everything's going to be okay.

*General Dren's POV"

I ran down the Capitol sewers, frantically searching. _He isn't here. He SHOULD be here._

"General, Mr Odair was here, but he seems to have moved" One of my colleagues shouts at me.

Then I see it.

A pool of blood, right where he should be. Then just a trail, leading further into the sewers.

I know it's impossible, but somehow I know.

Finnick Odair is alive.


	4. He's back

A.N. HEY GUYS! HERE'S THE NEXT CHAPTER. ENJOY! XOXOXO

*Finnick's POV*

I keep walking until what seems like forever. The blood pouring out my arm has not stopped and it's going a deathly shade of white. I rip of part of my already torn shirt and make a bandage. It's a weak attempt, but a weak bandage is better than no bandage. I keep walking and walking until suddenly, I hear shouting behind me. Thinking it's the mutts, I try to run. The blood is now flooding out my arm, making me even more weak. I keep running and running until my legs won't run no more. I fall to to ground.

I mumble Annie's name just before darkness takes over me.

*Annie's POV*

It has been a week since Katniss executed Snow. She is coming towards the end of her punishment. She should be grateful she wasn't murdered for what she did. I know I would be.

The civilians of District 12 are slowly moving back there. It will take a lot of time and effort, but im sure they will get District 12 back up and running in no time.

I am just finishing up my lunch when General Dren comes running towards me. She stops and tries to talk to me but she is panting so hard I don't understand what she is saying. Johanna, who was sitting with me, breaks the awkwardness by asking:

"What do you want Camocheeks?" Johanna snickers and I can't help but snicker too.

You see, just before Dren had gone to get…him, Johanna and I had caught up with her. She had looked so hilarious, with camouflage paint all over her face and a gormless expression caked on top. Me and Jojo had one word to describe what her expression was:

Priceless

Ever since that day, Johanna has called Dren Camocheeks and it never failed to bring a giggle out of me.

Finally, General Dren starts speaking a language I can understand:

"Annie, we need you down in the hospital wing now!" Dren exclaimed and suddenly a wave of fear overtook me.

"There's nothing wrong with the baby, is there?" I ask, hoping nothing was seriously wrong.

"No no the baby is fine" I breathe a sigh of relief "we need to talk to you about Finnick"

I stand there, shocked. Why would they want to talk about Finnick. They knew I was barely coping with coming to terms with what…happened. Johanna realises my state of shock and speaks the words I can't seem to force out of my own mouth:

"Listen, Annie is barely coping with this and you are just reopening the wound! I think it would be wise if you left." Johanna stated than began to push Dren out the door. Only now do I realise we are still in the cafeteria so everyone is staring at our little scene.

"No wait you don't understand! We've found him!" a pang of pain hits my chest and I wince. Johanna notices and now is properly forcing Dren out the door.

"Alive"

That one word makes my whole body go numb. I drop my bowl, the porcelean smashing on contact with the floor. This just attracts more attention, if we didn't have it all already.

"Take me" I ask. Dren nods then leaves. I follow, Johanna trailing behind me. She takes me to one of the intensive care units. She gestures me to step inside. I do, and I see him there.

My beautiful Finnick. He had gone all thin and sickly. But he was still my Finnick. How much I had missed him. I caressed his cheek. I still couldn't believe he was real, he was here. I traced his eyelids, how much I missed his beautiful green eyes. How much I longed to see them right now. Then I went down to his lips. His beautiful lips. The lips that had kissed me so many times, the lips I had kissed back so many times. I lean down and peck them and then snuggle up beside him. I inhale his scent, he still, even now, smelled slightly of sugar cubes. That thought alone brought a smile to my face. Oh, how I've missed him. Suddenly I get nudged from the inside. _Oh, daddy will love you! _I think to my stomach, my baby. _Your daddy is going to spoil you rotten, I just know it._ I feel so peaceful in this moment right here, I don't want it to end.

I fall asleep next to Finnick, in my own bubble of happiness.

*Johanna's POV*

I watch Annie walk in and start playing with Finnick's face. It reminds me of Oak…i… I can't think about him, it's too painful to think about. I can't break down again. Oak didn't die wanting me to suffer, neither did my family. But now I must get on with my life and focus on keeping Annie's together.

Just then Mrs Everdeen walks up to me.

"Hi Johanna! i was wondering if I could tell you about Finnick's state because it is mandatory to tell one person in the family this info and I don't think Annie's stable enough to take it." Mrs Everdeen gushes out at me.

"Okay." I look over at Annie. She's pecking him on the lips. _She would never be stable enough to hear this_.

"Finnick was on the verge of bleeding to death when we found him. He is still not 100% safe. He has a 50/50 chance of surviving but we are working on him day and night."

"Ok, thanks" I dismiss Mrs Everdeen subtly but she gets the hint and walks off.

_50/50 per cent chance of him dying. After all that's happened, Finnick's still not safe. _

_He cannot die. Annie needs him, _

_she only just got him back._

_A.N. SO WHAT U THINK! UPDATE IN ABOUT 2 WKS! BYE! XOXOXOXOXO_


	5. Ghosts of the Past

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANY OF SC'S CHARACTERS. OR THG, CF AND M.

*Johanna's POV*

_I am running through the forests of District 7, wind in my hair, sun on my face, exactly where I needed to be right now. Even though the games had left me scars that were deep, I always felt happy here. No matter what I could see, no matter what that murderer known as the president could do to me, I would always feel happy here. I stopped running, to catch my breath, my axe swinging at my side. Suddenly I heard someone behind me. I turned around, axe in front of me; ready to kill anyone who comes too close. Dammit! Wherever I go the games always creep into what I do._

"_What you gonna do with that axe Johanna? Kill me? I dare you!" Oak jokes as my axe is inches away from his face._

"_Yea right" I mutter, all the memories of the last year coming back to haunt me. No matter what I'd do there are certain things you can never forget. The look on someone's face when they know their death is imminent. The desperation of their voice as they plead to you to not kill them. The sound of the cannon that signalled the loss of another life, the fact that with every kill I made I was willingly becoming another one of the Capitols' toys. First Finnick, now me._

"_Are you ok?" Oak asks as he picks up on my discomfort._

"_I will never be ok" I answer back. Oak doesn't know how to reply so we sit there in awkward silence. _

_Finally he perks up. "I love you and I would do anything for you. But the problem is…" he trails off, lost for the right words to say._

"_The problem is nothing more can be done" I finish his sentence for him. I look up from the ground to see pain in his eyes. He takes my face in his hands, kissing away ears I didn't even know were falling._

"_Im sorry" Oak whispers, then kisses me. Then we just lie there, basking in the summer air._

_Not a care in the world…_

I shoot up out of my dream, and immediately start to cry. _I miss Oak so much_**. Stop it Johanna, break out of it! **I dry my tears away, get dressed, then get my schedule printed on my arm. Since the war has ended, the only set part of the day on my schedule is lunch. I have got the rest of the day to myself. I decide to go visit Finnick and Annie. Finnick still hasn't woken up from his medically induced coma and even though he has improved greatly since being here, I still worry about him. I guess you could say I still don't trust District 13 yet…

Annie is still so happy that Finnick is back. She is constantly smiling and, when she thinks no-one's listening, telling Finnick all about their baby. Just seeing Annie puts the smile back on my face and my worries to the back of my mind.

I stay for about an hour before I decide to leave. Annie has fallen asleep and I think it is best not to disturb her.

Just after my victory in the hunger games, I was a complete loner. Nobody wanted to talk to me as I was seen a threat to their safety. President Snow had no kept it quiet when he did those things to my family…

I just go about doing nothing until I decide I can head to lunch without looking too early. When lunch begins I find myself on a table by myself. Before Finnick came back, Annie would always sit with me. I'm not upset she's abandoned me, I just miss her. _Snap out of it Johanna! Stop missing her! When you have feelings for people it just ends in them being killed!_

I come out of my thoughts and look around. Since District 12 has stared to be rebuilt, nearly every former villager from there has headed back. Any random people from other districts have headed back too. Out of the 2000-3000 people that took refuge here a year ago, only about 100-150 people remain here. I don't blame them all for leaving so quickly. If I had the chance, I would be out of here in a flash. But I promised Finnick I would always be there for Annie so here I sit. 3 people come and sit with me and when I look at them it takes me a good minute to work out who's sitting in front of me:

It's Flavius, Octavia and Venia.

They look extremely different without the Capitol masks plastered all over them. Flavius' normally fiery orange hair is now coloured a murky ginger, and take all the makeup off and you can actually see a few wrinkles forming. He looks about in his mid 30's. Octavia has slimmed down a lot since being on District 13 food regime. Her hair was now an auburn colour and without makeup you could actually see a difference in ages between her and Flavius, her looking in her early 20's. Venia was the only reason I could actually recognise them as Katniss' prep team. Her trademark golden tattoos were all still there but her spiky, aqua blue hair was actually straight, and slightly grey. She looks in her 40's. I didn't think they'd hire stylists so old.

"Heya Johanna" Flavius bellows, making me jump.

"Hi" I reply

"How are you?" Octavia asks, cheery as ever.

"Fine"

"How's Finnick?" Venia asks, looking rather concerned.

"He's good, they are saying they will be able to wake him up soon" I say, making them all smile.

"That's good, we were so worried" Flavius exclaimes.

"Why are you here, shouldn't you be back in the Capitol?" I ask as sweetly as I can, but it's obvious I hate the place.

"Oh, no we are never going back to that hellhole ever again" Venia growled, just as discussed by the Capitol as I am.

"Hmn, that is true" Octavia mutters to herself. We keep up small talk for a while before I get sick of them and need to leave.

"Well, it's been lovely talking, but I need to go now" I mention, rising from the table with my plate.

"Ok, well I hope to see you soon" Octavia gushes as she stuffs more food into her mouth.

"Bye"

"Take care of Finnick for me" Venia shouts as I leave.

"Sure" I shout back as I leave.

"_It's ok, I'll be back soon, you have nothing to worry about" Oak comforts me as he packs his bags._

"_How long?" even in my vagueness Oak knows exactly what I mean._

"_Only for a month. My parents work for the Capitol, I was bound to be called to go there at some point"_

"_I know but what if they hurt you?" I have never been so worried in my life._

"_They won't, I promise"_

I wake up screaming again. I take a minute to calm myself before I take a shower. I check the clock: 6:48. I still have 15 minutes before I meet Annie. I just sit back on the bed, and let it all out. I sob and sob. Today had been haunting me for months. It's his birthday.

When I get down to the hospital I am instantly pulled aside by Mrs Everdeen. I begin to ask what's wrong when she hushes me. She is acting unsual. It makes me uneasy.

"We need to talk" she whispers to me.

A.N. SORRY I KNOW THIS ISN'T A GOOD ENDING BUT I REALLY WANTED TO GET THIS UP.

REVIEW PLEASE XOXOXOXOXO

ANNIE


	6. Telling you my life story

A.N. HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII :) I KNOW IT HAS BEEN, LIKE AGES BUT I HAVE BEEN BUSY! I WENT PUMPKIN PICKING TODAY AND IT WAS LIKE THIS:

MUDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:

(LOLZ DID YA CACH THE FACE AT THE END?) :D

WELL ENOUGH FROM ME.

;3

*Johanna's POV*

I start to panic. _What's happened?!_

"What's wrong?" I whisper, my voice showing so much anxiety it is unreal.

"It's about Coin" Mrs Everdeen whispers back. _Coin? What?_

"Coin is dead" I state. _Maybe Everdeen here has got a screw loose? Her daughter isn't exactly in perfect sanity._

"I know but that's the problem" _That's the problem. What the fir? __**(**__**A.N**__. __**lolz like the fir tree. I was gonna use what the fudge but then I realised that they might not have fudge :P)**__ Yup, definitely a screw loose._

"Right…" I say in a sarcastic voice. I start to walk away but Mrs Everdeen stops me.

"Wait, just listen. President Coin had people higher up that would do anything for her. How do I put this easiest?" She ponders, tapping her head. "Aha" She looks me straight in the eye and whispers:

"Katniss killed Coin. Now they want revenge" _Oh…_

"What sort of revenge?" I ask. _ This is not gonna be good._

"They are kicking me out of District 13. I can almost guarantee they want to mess with Finnick. I am already getting reading on my charts of them putting foreign chemicals in his system"

"What do we do about it?" I ask.

"I don't know" she shakes her head. "Nothing. We don't need to worry yet, they are not kicking me out until another 3 months have passed. We will have hopefully have thought of something by then.

"I hope you realise how messed up that sounds" I say, spite layering my voice.

Mrs Everdeen nods. I start growling.

"I've gotta go, I'm meeting Annie soon" With that I turn on my heel and storm to Finnick's hospital room. As soon as I enter I see a scene before me that melts all my anger away immediately.

*Annie's POV*

I wake up to my stomach growling. I order some food from the hospital. I hate hospital foods, they are all so bland. Eventually my food comes and I finish it quickly. After they have taken my tray away, I decide to talk to my baby. The more anxious I am, the more I talk to it/him/her. So in light of recent events, my baby already knows my life story in perfect detail.

"Hey there baby" I stroke my bump "Mummy loves you so much. Daddy loves you as well, but he's sleeping right now. When he wakes up, and you are born, he's going to spoil you rotten. He will get you everything you will ever want and more. You see, Daddy Finnie always wanted a baby like you but these baddie people from a place called the Capitol wouldn't let him. These bad people are the same people who made Daddy hurt. So the people here put Daddy to sleep so he wouldn't hurt as much. Even though he doesn't know it yet, Daddy loves you very much. I love you very much. You are our darling baby, nobody will ever hurt you."

I am brought out of my rambling by something squeaking in the room. I look up, and see the sea-green eyes I had been yearning so much staring back at me. I stand up.

"How much did you hear?" I ask.

"Enough"

Finnick has tears in his eyes; they of course set off mine. I run over to his bed and hug him tightly. I lie next to him on the bed and he pulls my t-shirt up, exposing my abdomen. He places his ear to where our baby is and starts whispering.

"Hey there baby. Daddy Finnie here. I love you so much. I'm sorry I missed out on some of your precious life; I promise I won't miss anymore. I love your mummy lots and lots."

Before Finnick can say anymore, I kiss him lightly, and then hug him again. Just then Johanna walks in; takes one look at Finnick, then starts sort of half-laughing, half-crying. She runs up and hugs Finnick and sobs into his shoulder. When she finally pulls away she starts talking.

"How are you feeling Finnick, are you in pain?" Johanna asks, extremely concerned.

"I'm fine. It doesn't matter if I'm in pain though because I've got my family back." Finnick replies, putting his arm around my waist.

Johanna understands what he's saying and makes them weird noises again. I couldn't care less, Finnick was back, he was fine.

And if he was fine, I was fine.

*Johanna's POV*

I put on a happy show when I realised Finnick was finally awake but the only thing I could register in my mind was:

_They don't know what the hell is coming for them._

A.N SO THAT IS THAT DONE. HOPE YOU LIKE IT. I HAVE A QUESTION THOUGH. SHOULD I DO SHORTER CHAPTERS AND POST MORE FREQUENTLY, OR SHOULD I DO LONGER CHAPTERS AND POST LESS? I NEED YOUR OPINION. ALSO, NO MATTER WHAT, REVIEWS MAKE ME WRITE FASTER SO PLEASE DO REVIEW! IT REALLY MAKES ME SMILE. :) IF YOU HAVE READ SOME OF MY OTHER STORIES YOU WILL KNOW THAT I HAVEN'T HAD ANY REVIEWS ON THEM :( . IF YOU REVIEW ON 3 OF MY 4 STORIES, GIVE ME YOUR NAME AND YOUR PERSONALITY AND I WILL ADD YOU IN THIS STORY!

IF YOU HAVEN'T READ MY OTHER STORIES ***COUGH COUGH*** GO READ THEM ***COUGH COUGH***

HAVE A GOOD DAY GUYS

UNTIL NEXT TIME

ANNIE XOXOXO


	7. Ride

A.N. HEYA… :)

* * *

*Finnick's POV*

There was nothing but darkness. Just darkness. The type of darkness that drowns you until you're on the verge of suffocation and then brings you back up for air so you have to experience the torture all over again. I have experienced this darkness before but that had only been for a few days (I found that out later). That seems like such a small insignificant amount of time compared to now. That is why I think I'm dead. In fact, I **know** im dead. I didn't want to die. Annie needs me..I..I need her.

When they brought me to 13, there was a ten minute window where I was conscious. No matter how hard I begged, they wouldn't let me see her. Oh, how I miss her.

Wait, what's that? A light?

...Who's that woman talking? If I focus I can just make out what she is saying.

"Mummy loves you so much. Daddy loves you as well, but he's sleeping right now."

Wait, WHAT?! I'd better listen again.

"You see, Daddy Finnie always wanted a baby like you but these baddie people from a place called the Capitol wouldn't let him. These bad people are the same people who made Daddy hurt. So the people here put Daddy to sleep so he wouldn't hurt as much. Even though he doesn't know it yet, Daddy loves you very much. I love you very much. You are our darling baby, nobody will ever hurt you."

I..I'm a dad? Annie?

I open my eyes and sit up. There she is. Annie. She's rubbing her stomach lovingly. I really am a dad!

I try to sit back down but my bed squeaks. Annie looks up and is shocked to see me.

"How much did you hear?"

"Enough"

Annie looks at me happily. She runs over and hugs me. I give her room to lie next to me. I lift up her shirt and start to listen.

"Hey there baby. Daddy Finnie here. I love you so much. I'm sorry I missed out on some of your precious life; I promise I won't miss anymore. I love your mummy lots and lots."

Annie stops my talking by kissing me. Then Johanna walks in and starts being all happy. She comes over and hugs us. She is putting up a happy charade but I can see in her eyes something is wrong. I will have to ask her about that later but right now, im focusing on my little family.

* * *

*The next day*

I still can't believe im here. I am so happy. I have Annie and a mini us. I just hope they both don't get hurt. Just then annie walks in.

"I wrote a song" She seems embarrased but exited at the same time.

"Wow, can i hear it?" I ask. She nods. Annie opens her mouth and sings the most beautiful song i had ever heard:

**"Ride"**

I've been out on that open road  
You can be my full time, daddy  
White and gold  
Singing blues has been getting old  
You can be my full time, baby  
Hot or cold

Don't break me down  
I've been travelin' too long  
I've been trying too hard  
With one pretty song

I hear the birds on the summer breeze, I drive fast  
I am alone in the night  
Been tryin' hard not to get into trouble, but I  
I've got a war in my mind  
So, I just ride  
Just ride, I just ride, I just ride

Dying young and I'm playing hard  
That's the way my father made his life an art  
Drink all day and we talk 'til dark  
That's the way the road dogs do it, ride 'til dark.

Don't leave me now  
Don't say good bye  
Don't turn around  
Leave me high and dry

I hear the birds on the summer breeze, I drive fast  
I am alone in the night  
Been tryin' hard not to get into trouble, but I  
I've got a war in my mind  
I just ride  
Just ride, I just ride, I just ride

I'm tired of feeling like I'm f-ing crazy  
I'm tired of driving 'till I see stars in my eyes  
I look up to hear myself saying,  
Baby, too much I strive, I just ride

I hear the birds on the summer breeze, I drive fast  
I am alone in the night  
Been tryin' hard not to get into trouble, but I  
I've got a war in my mind  
I just ride  
Just ride, I just ride, I just ride

* * *

A. IF YOU ARE A LANA DEL REY FAN LIKE MOI YOU WILL KNOW THIS IS HER SONG RIDE.

IF YOU HAVE READ MY OTHER STORY RUN AND HAVE SEEN THE FULL 10MIN. VID OF RIDE YOU WILL KNOW I USED RIDE THEN ASWELL.

I FIND THIS SONG CONNECTS TO ME (ANNIE) AND JOHANNA IN DIFFRENT WAYS AND I JUST COULDN'T CHOOSE WHO TO GIVE IT TO!

SO I GAVE IT TO BOTH :P

YEA I KNOW ITS SHORT YADA YADA AND IM NOT GONNA MAKE UP A LAME EXUSE FOR NOT POSTING IN AGES IVE BEEN A BIT STRESSED. I HAVE LOTS OF IDEAS FOR WHAT IS COMING NEXT SO THAT IS EXITING AND HELPFUL. IT MEANS IM NOT JUST STARING A A BLANK WORD DOCUMENT WONDERING WHAT TO WRITE :)

SEE YA SOON GUYS

ANNIE XOXO


	8. Coming Up!

A.N. IF YOU CAN'T REMEMBER WHO POLLUX IS PLEASE READ HIS BIOGRAPHY BECAUSE HE MIGHT NOT MAKE SENSE TO YOU IF YOU DON'T:

Pollux is a Capitol cameraman who films Katniss in the District 13 propos. He was also a former Avox and only appears in Mockingjay.

Something Pollux did prior to his appearance in Mockingjay caused the Capitol to turn him into an Avox. It is assumed that the reason behind him joining the rebels in District 13 is for revenge.

As an Avox, Pollux worked in the utility pipes and passages under the Capitol; he was thus very knowledgeable about the passageways and was able to help Katniss in maneuvering underground to President Snow's mansion. His brother, Castor, eventually bought Pollux's way aboveground after five long years.

At some point after working underground, he began to work as a cameraman. As he begins to work for Katniss, she defines him and his brother as looking like insects because of the heavy mobile cameras which encase their bodies.

When Katniss and her filming group were in the meadow around District 12, Katniss sits next to Pollux during a break. They start whistling tunes and birdcalls to mockingjays and wait for their return whistles. Pollux then writes the word SING? in the dirt, asking Katniss to sing. She sings the song "The Hanging Tree" for him, which makes him very emotional.

While in the Capitol, Pollux helps guide the group underground and toward the mansion, but with Cressida gets lost in a crowd of Capitol citizens. After the war is over, he and Cressida are sent out into the districts to cover the wreckage of the war. Castor,however, was killed by lizard muttations in the underground passageways.

Later, it's said that Pollux and Cressida went in the districts to cover the damages of the war.

Pollux is described as a burly man with sandy hair, a red beard, and blue eyes. He resembles his brother, Castor.

A.N. THIS IS A TASTER FOR WHAT IS IN STORE. TRY AND GUESS HOW POLLUX IS INVOLVED IN THE STORYLINE. HINT: OAK.


	9. Sign Language

A.N. IT'S FINALLY HERE!

*Pollux's POV*

Wow. Her entrance into the room hit me like a ton of bricks. She looked magnificent, beautiful from head to toe. I wished I had the luxury of holding her in my arms, calling her mine. But no. Such a powerful women like her would never love a feeble, scraggly avox like me. The way she won't take no rubbish from anyone, the way she will do whatever she pleases and not care in the slightest in repercussions makes my heart set on fire.

I don't understand why Katniss takes such a disliking to her; her snide comments are what give her personality. Wait…im lying. Katniss and my crush don't get along because of their equal doses of stubbornness. Their showdowns never fail to bring a chuckle out of me.

I know what you are thinking, I am a coward. I am a coward because I don't have the guts to go up to her. You are wrong. I have tried to go up to her…and failed. Wait, I am a coward. But you can't say I didn't try. I have tried many times to no avail.

The first time I plucked up the courage to try and talk to her we were on our way to the Capitol to find Snow. I was working with Cressida at the time so even getting the time to try and talk to her was difficult. When I did try to sign words in sign language to her, she just looked through me, focused on something else entirely. Then just as she focuses on me, the call to fight came and she had to go. Sucks for me…

Basically every time I tried to talk to her, something would come up so I never got the chance. How much I wish on a night she would notice me…

But then again, why would she notice me? I've already explained why she's so heavenly. And it's not her, it's me. There is one question that leaves me on that boundary of what they call "so close but so far". And that question is "Why would she ever date you Pollux?" That goddess would never date me, I mean look at me. I'm an Avox for starters, I can't talk. I could never serenade her with all the illustrious words she deserves to hear. I'd never deserve her…

You know what? I am going to stop talking now.

I am probably boring you aren't I? Yep thought so… I once had a crush on a girl when I was a child. (I don't know what I ever saw in her, my new love is much prettier. Anyway…) Her name was Hannah. As a child I spoke my mind, which earned me a tut from my mother but a chuckle from my father; followed with the same phrase:

"You're such a hopeless romantic, son". He'd tell me this, then walk away shaking his head with a smile on his face.i

Is being a hopeless romantic really so bad? I don't think it's a bad thing, I mean… *Gasp*

Oh

My

G.3897t5839q75hy874nyh0p9t5n87 h98rjyh4gt4wryinmrjy9803jn4w 98

Translated for normal people=

Oh

My

Godmyloveofmylifeisheadingmy wayomgomgwhatdoido?OkPolluxactcool,actcool.

(God my love of my life is heading my way omg omg what do I do? Ok Pollux act cool, act cool.)

One song comes to mind:

_Every now and then the stars align,_

_A boy and girl meet by the great design._

_Could it be, that you and me are the lucky ones?_

_Everybody told me love was blind, _

_Then I saw your face and you blew my mind._

_Finally, you and me are the lucky ones this time._

She walks over and takes a deep breath.

"Hi" she greets me. She's talking to me?! I am about to answer when I realise I can't. Damn my avox tongue! I just wave. She gives me a confused look but continues.

"How are you doing?" um…how do I answer? I point to the part of your throat that concaves in near the collarbone and lightly shake my head.

"Oh, sorry you can't talk?" She asks, concern lacing her voice. I shake my head. She starts to concentrate hard on something in her own little world before shakily signing with her hands a "Heelo". I didn't know she did sign language. It's a bit rusty, but I love the fact she's trying.

*Johanna's POV*

"Heelo" I sign to him. When I see his face I knew I've done it wrong. He dosen't mind and then starts to sign something back. All I make out is:

"Me Naam Is Polluuox" Polluuox? What an unusual name. I might have not heard him right so I sign back:

"Polluuox?" He shakes his head then grabs some paper and a pencil. He writes in neat handwriting his name: POLLUX. Oh, Pollux.

"Sorry Pollux, Im not very good at sign language" I say out loud. He chuckles **(I didn't know whether he'd be able to chuckle so let's just say he can! :D)** and writes on the paper: "It's better than not knowing at all, where did you learn?"

"I was taught as a child, hence me not remembering much, since my cousin refused to talk. It was a mental issue, they said. Nah, it's just the world making him mental, I said." Pollux chuckles again and shakes his head. He goes back to sign language:

"You make me laugh"

"Nice to know"

"What happened to your cousin?"

"Snow"

"Oh, sorry"

We stand there in awkward silence for a bit, lacking anything to talk about. Then I realise I should probably get to the point I came over to talk with him about.

"Hey, I just want to say I'm sorry I've kinda ignored you a lot recently, I just never had the time and I don't want it to seem like I hate you or anything, because I have enough people hating me at the moment." I laugh, out of frustration more than anything. **(I don't know how to describe that laugh, you know the one where you are like ha, FML. My life is hopeless etc... I hope you get what laugh I mean! ;D)**

"Its okay" he signs. Cue awkward silence…

"Anyway" I start. "I got to go. Seeya around Camera Boy" I wave, then turn away.

*Pollux's POV*

"I got to go. Seeya around Camera Boy" She waves at me, the walks away.

It's official.

Im hopelessly in love with Johanna Mason.

A.N.

Chapter 9 is here! Sorry it took so long. I've been sick :(

Hope you like the new instalment. Sorry it's kinda swaying from the original plot but I felt the story was a bit dull. :D I hope you understand.


	10. Strange girl

A.n. Hey! Sorry I haven't updated for ages! My computer broke! I am currently writing this at 3am on my iPad. Hopefully this means there will be no typos since my iPad is smarter than me! *sigh* I probably won't post it till later though!

Anyway, on with the story!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except Camocheeks!

ΨΨΨ

*Finnick's POV* (dedicated to .98 :D)

2 weeks later

The doctors are finally letting me leave my hospital bed again. I have to be careful because the stitches in my arm are still healing. I love that I am able to move around again. I do have one concern though...

Johanna's hiding something, I can tell.

Just the way she's been acting so...guilty. There is definitely something going on. Mrs Everdeen is also acting weird. Constantly checking my charts and asking if I feel any different than how I felt 2 hours ago. Also when I say I do feel slightly different, she goes into a bit of a panic/frenzy. I am going to have to confront Johanna about it later.

But at the moment, I'm thinking about my Annie. The way her face lights up whenever I mention the baby, it's wonderful to see. I love her so much. **(AWW! It's so fluffy :D ) **I still have nights though when the horrors of the sewers come back to me. I will wake up in the middle of the night, panting, and until I get a glimpse of Annie I am convinced Snow has captured me. Often when I wake up, I can hear voices nearby. Then last night I woke up to somebody injecting something into my system. When I asked the person, they just told me to go to sleep. I couldn't distinguish whether it was a man or a woman but I could tell that whoever it was seemed to be around my height. Anyway, I soon fell asl….aslp….asleep.

When Mrs Everdeen came in to check on me, I soon realised it couldn't have been her who was there last night as she is definitely smaller than the figure last night.

"How are you feeling today Finnick, nothing out of the ordinary hmn?" She asks her daily question as she checks my IV…mobob thingy. I quickly see a flash of panic in her features as she reads them but she quickly masks it with a cough.

"Doctor Everdeen?" I ask. She turns and looks at me with a warm smile.

"Just call me Mrs Everdeen dear" She comes over and fluffs my pillows up.

"Ok then, but who was in my room last night?" I ask with curiosity lacing my tone. Mrs Everdeen freezes, then cranes her neck at me.

"What?" She asks numbly, as if she's not completely here.

"Who…came into my room last night? It wasn't you because whoever it was, looked way to tall." I ask again, worried about where this conversation is headed. Mrs Everdeen is still frozen, staring into space.

"Just…just a minute honey" Mrs Everdeen mumbles as she rushes out the room. Odd…

I don't have time to query over my actions because Annie and Johanna walk into the room. Well, Johanna walks, Annie runs and jumps over to me.

"Whoa Whoa" I steady her "Don't want to hurt the baby with all that jumping around now do we?" I question jokingly. Annie doesn't take it as a joke though as her face drains of colour.

"Oh no. What do we do? I need to see a doctor and-" I cut off her ramblings with a kiss.

"I was only joking Annie, calm down". I look over at Johanna and she's looking at me strangely. She walks over to me.

"What have you done to get Mrs Ever-working **(Everdeen BTW)** in such a kerfuffle?" She raises and eyebrow at me and all I do is shrug.

"All I did was ask her who was in my room last night injecting stuff into my IV… mobob thingy. She just freaked out". Johanna's eyes widen at my comment and she too hurries out the room. Annie, oblivious to what has just happened, starts talking. I push my worries to the back of my mind and try to focus on her.

"My next doctor's appointment is next week, isn't it exiting. We will find out whether the baby is a boy or a girl!" Annie starts squealing and I laugh.

"How far along are you?" I ask. Annie has to think for a moment.

"Hmn, about 5 months" **(if you have been tracking it and she's not…sorry :3)**

"Finnick?" Annie asks.

"Yes" I turn to face her with a smile.

"What was Johanna worried about?" Annie looks generally confused. Hmn, I guess she did notice.

"I don't know honey" –I say as I smother down her hair- "I don't know"

*Johanna POV*

I rush down the halls, trying to find Mrs. Everdeen. When I see a glimpse of blond hair, I skid to a halt. It's not Mrs. Everdeen but a random doctor. She has the same blond hair as any merchant from district 12 and her eyes are icy blue. She looks like a younger version of Mrs. Everdeen. I feel it can't do much harm to ask her if she knows where she is.

"Excuse me" I ask.

"Hmn?" she replies.

"Have you seen Mrs- I mean Dr. Everdeen" The woman looks at me strangely and says:

"She is where all hope lost from death is regained" Ok, sure just talk in riddles see if I care. Ugh.

"Thank you" I answer, irritated, then begin to walk away.

"Oh and Johanna?" She calls out to me.

"Yes?"

"Love is not as far away as you think" The woman says with a smile in her voice and winks at me.

"Um…Thanks" I say, slightly creeped, and jog away.

Wait, how did she know my name?

Strange girl…

*Strange doctor's POV*

Strange girl…. But she has a certain fire in her heart. I understand why sister can't stand her.

You'd think I would be in district 12, reliving my time there before I am sent back to rest. But, no.

I always wanted to follow mother's footsteps and become a doctor; but I could never enter the hospital looking how I should at my age; it would upset people too much…

I hope mother's proud of me.

Father's definitely proud of me, he said so himself.

My darling goat comes up to me and licks my fingers, and I whisper to her:

"Isn't that right Lady?"

ΨΨΨ

There is a poll on my profile for the gender of the baby, go vote!


	11. Mrs Everdeen: The New James Bond

A.n. Ok guys, for anybody who was confused by Prim popping up, I will clear it up. She is still dead, but is a ghost. Sort of like a guardian angel. She will not be coming back to life at any point but she might come back later :3. I guess we will have to see…

Anyway, enjoy the chapter.

* * *

*Johanna's POV*

"She is where all hope lost by death is regained"-she said. "Love is not as far away as you think"- she said. UGH! Why so damn confusing. Um ok, Johanna think normally for a second. Stop panicking! Um..um. I keep wandering around until I ended up in the children's ward where I overhear (I WAS NOT EAVSDROPPING, I OVERHEARD!) some nurses talking about medicines.

"The treatments available these days are simply wonderful" one of them says WAAAAAAAAAAAY too loudly. The other one nods.

"It brings so much hope to people, there are not half as many deaths as there used to be" the other one whispers whilst patting a child's head.

THAT'S IT! THE MEDICINE CUBOARD!

I run back to the medicine cupboard where I arrive, collect myself, and enter. Mrs Everdeen is there waiting. BINGO! Her back is hunched over something and she is muttering to herself. I doubt she even knows I am here so I make my presence known by clearing my throat. Mrs Everdeen jumps at least 10 feet into the air whilst spinning around. Her eyes are filled with a rabid panic I have never seen before. It is kind of disturbing. As soon as she registers it is me though she instantly relaxes and reveals what she had clutched to her chest. It's an ordinary posh people's (fountain) pen. Why is Mrs. Everdeen so protective over it?

"Oh hello there Johanna, I was wondering where you were" She chuckles to herself to fill the awkward silence when I don't reply. I finally grunt a hello, and then ask:

"What's that?" I point to the pen. "Why you so protective over a pen?"

"Ah. But Johanna, this is no ordinary pen. It had a camera placed on the end see" Mrs Everdeen shows me and sure enough, there is a little camera at the end. "I am sure Mr Odair told you what had happened last night hmn?" –I nod- "Yes, well this camera is going to help us detect who is the culprit"

"Okay, cool"-I start talking-"but how are we going to keep this pen under wraps? Surely someone will find the pen and move it, or find it odd it is never being used yet you hold onto it for dear life?"

Mrs Everdeen seems startled I have brought this up. "Well, you are smarter than you look aren't you?" She asks me. Watch it blondie… "Well, it still fully functions like a normal pen so it won't be suspecting like that. I am planning to use it as the pen I use to write on his charts so that leaves me an excuse to leave it on the shelf next to his bed. Then at night if anyone comes in, it will be captured on camera!" Wow….

"Wicked!" I shout, only to be hushed by Mrs Everdeen. I decide to throw back her own words in her face. "Well, you are smarter than you look aren't you?" She looks at me utterly insulted. I leave the cupboard cackling a bit too loud for my own ears. Oh well, YOLUTCGY! (yol-ooh-tuck-guy. You only live until the Capitol gets Ya') I am so lost in my own thoughts that I bump into someone. It's Pollux.

"Oops sorry!" I help Pollux up whilst he tells me it's nothing.

"What you up to?" He asks me.

"Not much, why?"

"Can we talk?"

* * *

*Pollux's POV*

"Can we talk?" I ask. Don't mess this up Pollux.

"Sure. Where do you want to go?" Phew, she accepted. We end up going to Johanna's compartment. It's very lovely.** (Aww, Pollux is such a little girl)**

"So"-she starts, drawing back my attention-"What do you want to talk about?"

Now is the time Pollux. Now. Is. The. Time. Just tell her how you feel. Not that hard. Im sure she likes you, she let you in her compartment! But what is she goes all scary on me! She won't…probably. Are You Sure? Definitely, maybe. DO IT!

"Um, I was wondering if we could…..um the thing is…well, you see"- I am drawn out of my ramblings by a hand on my shoulder.

"Just say it Pollux" She assures me. "I won't judge you" Great! NOW SAY YOU LOVE HER! Urm…

"Can we be friends? I really like being able to talk to you. No-one ever listens to me" IDIOT! Johanna smiles. Uh oh. The smile before the kill. EH MA GHAD IM GONNA DIE!

"Sure" wait…..it's that easy? My face must portray my thoughts as Johanna laughs at me.

"Silly Pollux. I really like talking too. Listen, I got to go right now, see you later 'kay?" She smiles at me. I am still slightly frozen so I just nod. Johanna leaves and I follow out her compartment. She walks down the hall whilst I amble a bit. My thoughts are clouded with all the possibilities of what could of happened if I had told her what I really think. Although, it might have been too much…

Oh well, baby steps right?

* * *

Review! I am meant to be doing my homework right now!


	12. Moving Forward

*Pollux's POV*

I have only ever fallen truly in love once. What I feel about Johanna is love that still needs to grow, be mutual if you get what I mean. But once a love is fully grown, nothing else can ever compare to it. Even if you fall so deeply in love again, it will never be the same as the last.

I was always the shy child at school, not really fitting in. I grew up with an abusive father and no mother. I have always been used to pain, even from a young age. I learnt to block it out, to pretend it wasn't there.

When we went to the District 12 woods to film the propos all those weeks ago, I felt like we were intruding on Katniss and Gale. The grief they felt for their district must have been so intense. It was still fresh on their faces as they looked at what used to be their home. The crew and I didn't belong there amongst the still smouldering ruins and the decomposing bodies. This was their home, not ours.

We had stopped in a field to eat, and Katniss pointed out the Mockingjays to me. I'd never seen real Mockingjays before, only on TV, or on Katniss' pin. They were fascinating. Clever eyes had peered down at us as Katniss whistled melodies to them. Then they would respond, mimicking her tones in their haunting harmonies.

Then she started to sing.

The song was called the Hanging Tree. It must have been from district 12, I'd never heard it before. But the words got to me. The story dug into my mind, searching out the painful memories I had blocked out and bringing them to the surface. All I could think of was her. Alia.

She was my girlfriend, from before I was an avox. I can still remember clearly the first time I saw her. I was walking down a crowded street in the Capitol when I spotted her. Coming out of a doorway wearing a plain beige dress and white sandals. Her hair was red, natural, and her eyes were a vibrant green. She wasn't flamboyant or flashy, and it was because of that she stood out. She made no effort to cover her freckles or the little mole above her lip. I must have looked similar to her. I had never dressed in obnoxious colours or dyed my hair. She was so normal, and yet so extraordinary. We went out for coffee, as friends, but we very quickly became more than that. We had such a strong connection. Soon we spent every day together. On the nights we didn't stay together, we called each other, and fell asleep with the phones pressed against our ears, listening to each other breathing.

She told me she was a rebel. I began to see things the way Alia did. I had never been fond of the Hunger Games. But this year, I saw it for the atrocity it really was. People were betting on which children would die first. They threw parties and dinners and celebrated this massacre. I started going to the rebel meetings with Alia. District 13 was still running, I learned. Everything I knew was a lie. We threw ourselves into rebel work. I proposed to Alia. She moved in with me.

We were at a rebel meeting one night in one of the other rebels' houses. Everyone sat around in the living room making small talk.

Alia and I sat together on a love seat, my arm draped around her shoulders. She was acting funny. She was fidgety, constantly smoothing down the edge of her dark green dress.

"Are you feeling okay?" I asked her.

"Not really." She told me. "I've just got a bad feeling about tonight. I don't know why. I'm probably just being silly."

I took her hand in mine and kissed her. She touched my face.

"You are. What do you think is going to happen?"

"I don't know… I just…" She smiled tightly. "I'm sorry. I've just got a bad feeling."

"Do you want to leave?"

"No!" She laughed a little. "I'm okay Pollux, seriously. Can you get me a glass of water please?"

"Sure. I love you." I squeezed her hand and then let go. "Does anyone else want something to drink?"

I went out to the kitchen, trying to remember what everyone had wanted. I was pouring up water when I happened to glance out the window. My body suddenly went very cold.

"We have to get out! We have to get out now!" I yelled, dropping the glasses, letting them shatter on the floor. I ran towards the living room, thinking only of Alia, of getting her to safety.

"Pollux?" She called my name. And then the house shook. I was thrown off my feet, my head slamming into the corner of a table. Everything went black.

When I came to, parts of the house had collapsed. They had bombed it, I realized. There was rubble on top of me, pieces of plaster from the ceiling. There were peacekeepers everywhere, grabbing people and forcing them into the backs of trucks. There was fire, and screaming. I suddenly thought of Alia, and her name came to my lips.

"Alia!" I screamed again and again, but there was no response. I crawled towards the place where the living room once stood, blood trickling down my face. Then I saw it. The edge of her green dress. I pushed the crumbling plaster off her, rolling her over onto my lap. There was a deep cut on her forehead, and a blank look in her eyes.

A logical part of my brain told me that she was dead, but the rest of me was in denial, holding my redheaded angel close to me as I howled, still screaming her name like it would call her back.

Someone grabbed the back of my shirt, pulling me away from her. She slipped from my arms and was left lying there. I didn't look away from her still form until the door slammed in my face and the truck drove away. I called her name again and again, until my voice was hoarse, and even then I kept screaming for her. The last things I said were her name, I think, before they took away my speech forever.

After Katniss had finished her song, I snapped out of my flashback to find tears on my face. Alia. The song reminded me so much of how I felt after she died. I wanted to go with her. I wanted to meet her at that hanging tree and end my life so I could be with her again, away from the pain, the suffering, the words I couldn't say.

I used to wish it had been me to die, so Alia could be alive, but now I think it is better this way. She loved to talk. As an avox, she would have suffered greatly. Perhaps, death was the best gift I could give her, like the lovers in the song. Let her rest in peace while I deal with the pain of what's left. The pain of the imprisonment, the war, the loss of my lovely redheaded girl.

I never got over it, anyone who can get over the love of their lives' loss never truly loved them. People are always telling me I am wrong, that people get over it because the person who is gone would have wanted them to. I try to get over it, but to no avail. I only knew of one other person who had lost their love. Haymich.

When I talked to him, he simply said: "No point dwelling on the past. Eventually, everyone stops listening and moves on. Then suddenly, you wake up and everything has changed, you are a stranger to everyone because they have **moved on**, and you never did."

I don't know why this helped, but it did.

* * *

sorry for the bad ending, didn't know how to cut it.

it was my birthday on the 15th.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!


End file.
